I have always loved covers. Every time a new artist sings an old song, there is new meaning, there is shared meaning. It is a creation that can be just diverting (“what a cute cover”) or soul-sparking (“oh I never noticed that before”)— the meaning is created in the liminal space between the cover songs. Old vs. new.
I’ve also been experimenting with music streaming apps for a few months now. I’m currently doing my Spotify stint. And Spotify loves to throw me cover songs in my weekly playlists. I don’t know how they know (algorithm genius!), but I love it.
This cover was amazing. The tome was changed entirely by the gender flip. The tempo was at once slower and yet more energetic and driving. The words seemed to mean more. Please follow the link & take a listen! (I couldn’t get a single song to embed from any app, sorry,..)
I can’t exactly describe why I related to so much of “The Joy of Sad Girl Music” by Laia Garcia-Furtado in Harper’s Bazaar recently, but I think it has something to do with how every band or singer described within was one of the pivotal touchstones of my college / grad school / 20’s / 30’s / everything. I may not have thought about Shirley Manson and Garbage’s epic lyrics recently, but I still feel them in the deep black recesses of my core: “I’m only happy when it rains.”
The article defines and contextualizes the history of “sad girl music” while at the same time implying that perhaps this is not the music of just the 1990’s or sad girls–but that it is the music of Girls Who Feel. This happens to be all girls, but many of us needed permission to feel deeply in the world we grew up in, where getting ahead meant becoming more “masculine” for lack of a better word.
Julian Baker, singer -songwriter of one of my favorite sad-girl songs “Faith Healer,” describes what happens around the time your membership to the Sad Girl Club starts for many of us:
“[T]he existential element that starts to appear when you grow up as a woman in this world and you are, because of your queerness or because of your nongender alignment—or because of just the fact that you’re not a man—deprived of certain opportunities and kept from certain spaces, and you start to really tangibly experience the inhumanity of the world. For me, experiencing that deprivation or exclusion makes you all the more sensitive to the ways that other people are deprived and excluded. And then if you allow yourself to be unguarded about that and feel the natural compassionate response—it is pain, right?” Baker continues. “Like, it’s regret and sadness. And that’s an okay thing to feel. Because if the pain is instructive, the sadness is instructive about how to make a more compassionate world.”
Last year in 2020, the world was on fire but so was I, and my music recap shows just how much music I was listening to and how much it was really forming a strong emotional base to my existence. This year, sadly, has just not been the same. Neither my life nor my musical exploration nor in fact the whole of the world seemed quite as colorful or necessary. Partly, I’m sure it was because of my depression–but it also just didn’t feel like a real year. We all muddled through the second year of the pandemic as if on pause. Would something change? Our socially distanced lives, our jobs, our health?
Looking at my Spotify “wrapped” and my “year in review” from Amazon Music (my current main listening spot) revealed very little new music. Very little experimentation and exploration. And honestly, there may have been whole months where I didn’t listen to any music at all. If that is even possible? I spent many days and weeks in total silence, trying to distract from painful feelings with mindless games on my phone and endless naps. And more often than not, when I was figuring out what to listen to, I turned to audiobooks.
I’ll write more in another post about what I’ve been reading, but for now, lets look at the music I did listen to… All of these artists had at least 2 songs on my top 100 songs of the year:
Taylor Swift
Lorde
Miley Cyrus
Billie Eilish
Dua Lipa
Olivia Rodrigo
Doja Cat
Phoebe Bridgers
Sylvan Esso
The National
Black Pumas
Brandi Carlisle
Lizzo
Many of these were holdouts from last year’s heavy rotation, like the tracks from Miley Cyrus’ fantastic and in my opinion underrated girl rock album “Plastic Hearts” or Taylor Swift anthems from her second album of 2020, “evermore.” The same could be said for Dua Lipa who is still on heavy radio rotation with tracks from her hit album “Future Nostalgia” whose first single technically dropped in 2019.
There were more albums that came out in 2020 but continued on my frequent play list throughout 2021, notably Sylvan Esso’s album “Free Love” and Phoebe Bridgers’ “Punisher.” (A side note about the wonderful Phoebe Bridgers: in 2019, she released “Better Oblivion Community Center” with Connor Oberst. This is one of my very favorite albums of all time.)
Although Brandi Carlile released her most recent album “In These Silent Days” in 2021, I listened most to her super-duper groupThe Highwomen (eponymous album released in 2019) with Amanda Shires, Marne Morris, and Natalie Hemby. Somehow, it had taken me 2 years to find the song “Crowded Table” even though I was already aware of and in awe of Carlile’s great song writing and voice.
Black Pumas was another of my late-to-listen favorites, with an eponymous album released in 2019 with Grammy nods and good critical reception in 2020 and increased visibility making the late might tv show rounds while on tour. A prime time special ultimately helped them hit big on tv in 2021: the “Celebrating America” inauguration for Joe Biden.
Lastly, both The National and Lizzo last had albums in 2019 but their songs remain in my frequent play list.
So what new albums did I listen to in 2021??? In no specific order, here are some of them:
Lorde, “Solar Power” 2021: I loved both the title track and the single “Stoned at the Nail Salon” and did listen to the whole album straight through at least a few times when it first dropped.
Billie Eilish, “Happier Than Ever” 2021: shit, yes. This is probably the album I listened to the most this year, along with songs from many of Eilish’s previous albums too. In some ways, I could probably call 2021 the year of Billie. The top tracks in my playlist from “Happier” are “Your Power” and “Lost Cause.” But there are about a dozen other Eilish songs in my top plays, including “everything i wanted,” “my future,” “bellyache,” “lovely,” “you should see my in a crown,” and “Therefore I am.” She speaks deeply to many of the turbulent feelings I’ve experienced this year. And wasn’t there a concert performance and a movie this year? I think so. And I watched it all.
Olivia Rodrigo, “Sour” 2021: her first single “Drivers License” was an ok song that definitely got me singing along in the car, but my favorites from this debut album are “good 4 u” and “deja vu.” Rodrigo’s pop hooks and rock guitar and emotion-laden near-screams speaks to me even though I’m in my forties. You don’t need to be young to feel heartbreak.
Doja Cat, “Planet Her” was a frequent listen because how can you possibly escape this superstar? And speaking of music you cannot and should not escape, Lil Nas X “Montero” l is an absolutely unstoppable hit that must not be skipped. Lana del Rey had two new albums that I enjoyed this year (“Chemtrails Over the Country Club” and “Blue Bannisters”) matching Taylor Swifts’ prodigious 2020 output.
Speaking of Swift, she did release “Red (Taylor’s Version)” this year, and I am always delighted to her the songs I love from that album, such as “I Knew You Were Trouble” and “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.” Did I listen to all the new tracks? Yes. But do I remember any of them? Not particularly. I don’t know if its because of my mood lately or just because these tracks were never meant to see the light of day to start with?
Another 2021 release that I assumed would be my favorite next thing on repeat all day? Adele’s “30.” The first single “Easy On Me” is a gorgeous and sing-along-worthy track, but I didn’t find myself as involved with this album as I had expected. It is her divorce album after all… I suspect at least in part, my distance from this album is related to the emotional reticence I feel to even get involved in reliving yet even more feelings from my own divorce. (As if I could escape it, lol.)
As I end this post, writing on NYE itself, it seems to me that this year in music was defined by what my corporate overlords gave to me. I’m a baby of the Amazon Music algorithm this year. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I just hit “My Soundtrack” and let it play. In my top 10 songs, Billie Eilish sings four. I’m just going to call 2021 what it was: the year of Billie. But even though Billie Rules, I have to be totally transparent. The song of the year, the #1 song that I played the most, used the most on social media, and just generally screamed from the inside of my heart: “Cover Me in Sunshine” by Pink & her daughter Willow. Tell me that everything will be alright.
The end of the year is one of the most special times for me. Between Christmas and New Years, I find myself feeling pensive, maybe even nostalgic, about the previous year. And this year, whoa. There’s a lot to process. But I’m going to start with the easy stuff. Music.
I have continued working (and commuting about 30-50 minutes each way) throughout the year. The two things that have gotten me through this, as always, are music! and audiobooks!
For the last few months, however, I’ve been on an all music kick. Oddly enough, this is also how I started the year. The year began for me with upbeat & dance-worthy Dua Lipa while it is ending with a introspective folk/indie Taylor Swift double-header. But don’t worry, I’ve also got Miley Cyrus to lady-rage rock out in a way you just haven’t heard before, bringing back some classics from different decades (and sometimes the original artists too).
What follows are three separate lists. Favorite albums–meaning these are the albums, whole albums from track 1 to the end, that I listened to on repeat. Then there is a list of songs, usually things that were either 1) released by some of my already-fave artists, such as First Aid Kit & Billie Eilish, or 2) recommended by Amazon Music’s “your soundtrack” methodology, especially songs like “Air Forces” by Mustafa or “Control” by Zoe Wees. The third list includes albums that I’m surprised I didn’t listen to more. Maybe I really like a song from the album, such as with Sault, or have previously really liked the band (maybe even enough to see them in concert) as is the case with Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit or the Chicks. Maybe I’ll get to these albums?
Before you scroll to the lists, however, I interrupt you with this Spotify playlist. For each of my fave albums, you get two songs–plus all the other songs. And one song from each album I haven’t really dug into yet as a bonus. Over 2 hours of music to help you pass the time, provide a soundtrack to read the rest of this website, or just get inside my head, you know, whichever you prefer…
What are your favorite albums and/or songs? Should we talk about our least favorite or should I just not mention Harry Styles and Camilla Cabello? Leave any feelings or opinions in the comments! Next LIST in my 2020 list series will be BOOKS! Stay tuned in the coming days.